With the second great commandment, Jesus uncovered a powerful truth. He says, "And love you neighbor as you love yourself." As my colleague Isaiah Peoples pointed out to me, this is really a statement of two commands in one. For what good is such a command, proclaimed by a man calling for peace, joy, salvation and love, if the person does not love themselves?
About one week ago, I sat at a square table in a McDonald's with three other colleagues. We all carry our problems with us, and in some ways they make us who we are. And as we sat there, beginning to discuss the burden of past relationships, one of these humbly, shamelessly and openly expressed how bad his grief had gotten. He'd attempted suicide four times! He and I discussed the element of guilt and how the mistakes we've made have had such unfortunate consequences.
As we continued, Kelley, a humble and experienced man opened us up to some powerful insight. Even though we've made such terrible choices, taken the easy route so many times, hurt so many people, we should nevertheless love ourselves. We each should have significant respect for ourselves. What was he talking about? Unconditional love towards oneself.
The Bible calls for a level of self-love and appreciation for each and every one of us. Mark 12:31 is a call not only to love those around you but to love dearly yourself as well. If your self-worth is so minimal, this command is essentially meaningless to you.
In Luke 7:36-50, a woman cast as a sinner comes to Jesus, washing his feet with her tears and sprinkling them with rare fragrance. As the Lord said, her sins were many. But rather than busting her own chops and talking herself carelessly out of a blessing, she met to worship God the Son.
There is a pervasive problem throughout the human race: people have trouble loving and being loved. We are unrealistically hard on ourselves. And by trying to meet the standards of the world, undo the work of the Holy Spirit. In Romans 6, Paul calls for us to leave our lives of sin for freedom. Freedom is a life without guilt, without shame, without fear, without contempt. Freedom is the filter which creates an unpolluted life, for others and yourself. For those of you who struggle under the burden of low self-esteem and self-concept, it may be that you give, but fail to allow others to give back to you. Fear, guilt, shame and contempt can have such consequences. As you forgive others, forgive yourself. As you love others, love yourself. There is a new truth to testify in. That we have been declared innocent. That God's freedom is greater than all bounds, His grace is greater than all burdens, His blessing greater than all curses. His truth testifies for our great importance.
At the heart of Kelley's true and touching words were this freedom. A freedom to move passed your regrets, to turn them into mistakes that were learned from instead. It was a message to remember that you were created by the greatest being ever and saved by Him as well. Saved from having to crush yourself and others under the weight of punishment, penalty and prison. A message called unconditional love.
"As you forgive others, forgive yourself. As you love others, love yourself. There is a new truth to testify in. That we have been declared innocent. That God's freedom is greater than all bounds, His grace is greater than all burdens, His blessing greater than all curses. His truth testifies for our great importance."
ReplyDeletethis is what i will take away from it
Words well spoken and even greater ones to live by. This society we live in encourages individuality. This is a good thing but only to a certain extent. We need to realize that although we are individuals, we are also part of a greater whole. We should love and respect ourselves and our part in God's plan. The highs and the lows.
ReplyDeleteHaving read this post twice (once the day you posted it, and again now), I felt compelled to write a comment. Yevgeniy, you got a gift, and you see the world as it is, without the distortions of modern culture. Your second to last paragraph that yamyangreenbean quotes from is so filled with truth that I will likely return to reread it often. In addition to what yamyangreenbean quotes, I really like this bit as well: "Freedom is a life without guilt, without shame, without fear, without contempt. Freedom is the filter which creates an unpolluted life, for others and yourself." There are so many people out there who do not have freedom, and it is so unfortunate. From what you write, though, there seems to be a "formula" for achieving this freedom, that I believe all people long for, and that "formula" is to forgive and love, both others and oneself. I believe that without a close relationship with God, genuine forgiveness and genuine love are very hard to live by, since God is the source of both of these qualities. Today's culture portrays forgiveness as weakness, and true love as unfashionable. Yet, it offers no solutions to the problems that arise from not living by these things. No solution to depression, to self-hatred, to other-hatred, to chaos in one's life, to an unbalanced lifestyle, to having no direction in life, or feeling like one is "stuck." To all of these, the requirement for a solution is to have freedom, for which the prerequisites are forgiveness and love. I hope that by keeping up what you are going, writing these blogs, living your life as you do, and meeting people where they are at and discussing life with them, that you will leave an impact on people so that they will be able to realize this freedom in their lives. I know that you are helping me in this, and others are touched as well. Keep the freedom that you have in Jesus, and continue to share His love!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much everybody! Thank you for the comments. I really do hope that I am engaging others in decision-provoking thought. You are all factors in my growth, and I pray I am the same for you.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this. It is true. God is Love and everything comes down to Love.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds so simple and easy, but is it?
If we really think about it "to Love ourselves" actually means a lot more than what we'd like to look into....
If we truly love ourselves we'd take better care of ourselves. This has deep implications, because Love is total, it is 100% and not a third or half. Love is all, not some.
This would mean all of you, and all of you would mean your body, your mind, and your heart. This would mean your financial life, your health, your relationships, your career, etc. For example:
If you find that you're always running around trying to do everything and you forget to eat and you end up skipping meals all the time which in turn makes you overweight: You have to slow down and take some time to eat your meals in peace. Your body is a temple.
If you're letting a co-worker or friend take advantage of you and abuse you constantly: You're going to have to stand up for yourself.
If you're in an abusive relationship: You're going to get help and get out.
If you're not getting the grades that you want: You're going to do whatever you can to get the help that you need so that you can get those grades up.
If you want a good man/woman in your life that you can build the rest of your life with: You're going to change and grow to become that awesome person that you want.
If you want a better financial reality: You're going to study and learn about how to manage, maintain, and grow your finances.
These are the sorts of things that we would do if we really loved ourselves.
It is easier to forgive ourselves when we are loving ourselves. And it is easy to Love ourselves when we are loving God.
In the end if we say we love God, but we are not doing the sorts of things that demonstrate true love of self, we are being hypocrites.
God died for us. He came down from heaven and died for us. For what? So that we could be walking disasters? No. He wants us to be the head, not the tail. He wants us to live, not to die. He wants us to grow. He wants us to love.
And in Love we will be complete, not lacking any thing.
It is easier to forgive ourselves when we are loving ourselves. And it is easy to Love ourselves when we are loving God. < Amen
ReplyDeleteThis makes me think. Especially since lack of enough self love is what imreally guilty of. Reading what you write and everyone comments is really eye opening. I'm letting this one process and commenting later.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post.